ladystilts:

This is the kind of boyfriend I need.


nyc-prepster:

all I need is a tan and a mimosa in my hand is that too much for a girl to ask for

>>
Cinderella never asked for a prince. She asked for a night off and a dress.
Kiera Cass (via maxonshreaves)

operameister:

thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble:

agentgreenfishy:

poselikeateam:

fuck-i-just:

Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”

Why does this not have any notes?

lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”

“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”

“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”

>>